Minute With Mallon: Handling Toxic Attitudes!

Sep 13

Welcome to Minute with Mallon!

Something I Taught:

I was working recently with a client who was having a major problem dealing with a negative co-worker.

I call these types of people, "No People."

These people get into arguments in empty rooms. Haha! They always look on the dark side. (The world is a bad place. People are no good, etc.)

They are dangers, mostly to themselves because their negativity can cause them to become depressed. But they're also dangers to the people around them because they bring everything down and stop momentum.

In short, they're not fun to be around. But sometimes we have to work with them..

So how do we deal with them? I gave my client these four suggestions that I’ve taught for years to help her deal with this type of person.

Let them voice their concerns. I know that sounds strange, but you need to let them vent and get it all out.
Empathize with them. Empathizing with someone's feelings validates their emotions without feeding negativity, and allows you to gently steer the conversation toward solutions or positive topics.
Clarify to reduce their generalizations. Sometimes they are too general in their comments. Pin them down specifically. For example, "All cops are bad and brutalize people" or "All politicians are dishonest." So ask them clarifying questions: "All cops? You've never met a nice police officer?" This will get them thinking of specifics and stop generalizations.
Project the positive side. "I have a friend who kicks in doors at sleezy hotels to rescue women and children who are being held as sex slaves. So I know it's not All cops!" (That’s a true story!)

Dealing with negative people, especially those who consistently see the worst in everything, can be draining, but it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and patience. (Hard to do, but do it anyway!)

By letting them voice their concerns, empathizing without feeding into negativity, challenging their generalizations, and offering a positive perspective, you can help to shift the conversation towards a more constructive direction. And that’s the goal!

While it may not change their outlook completely, these strategies can minimize the negative impact on you and help maintain a more positive environment when you're around them.

Hope this helps! 👍🏻

Something to Ponder:

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Gandhi

Something I Learned:

There is a term called Periodization. It is a training strategy traditionally used in athletics that involves dividing a training program into specific cycles or phases. Each phase has different goals, such as building strength, endurance, or speed. These phases are used to maximize performance over time.

Here’s an example: in American football, the players especially in professional and college leagues follow periodized training programs to optimize strength, speed, and endurance throughout the season. They work on different things at different times.

In the book, The 12 Week Year by Brian Moran, he talks about what it is and how to use this

Periodization began as an athletic training technique designed to dramatically improve performance. Its principles are focus, concentration, and overload on a specific skill or discipline. Periodization in sports is a focused training regimen that concentrates on one skill at a time for a limited period, usually four to six weeks. After each four- to six-week period, the athlete then moves to the next skill in sequence. In this way, capacity in each skill is maximized.

After reading this, I realized that when I'm working with a business or on a person's career I'm taking them through a process which utilizes this concept. So many times my clients are just too "close" to the situations. In other words, they are focused on the day-to-day details. Since I only work with my clients 2-3 times a month, I have the advantage of seeing things at a 35k foot level, so I can determine the next steps of development more effectively than they can. And I have the advantage of having done this with a large number of people over the last 21 years.

So when you think of your business, career, or life, how can you use this concept? What would be some sequences that you could come up with to move these areas to the next level?

Would love to hear what you’re working on right now!