Minute With Mallon: Your Comfort Zone
Hi folks and welcome to "Minute With Mallon!"
- The most energizing place you can be is right outside your Comfort Zone!
Something I Taught:
Earlier this summer Sandy (that’s my wife!) and I went to Chattanooga to celebrate a family member's birthday. One of the best parts was that other family members came into town too, so we had a small family reunion.
On Saturday we all met at a beautiful, neighborhood pool. I got to spend about four hours with three of my grandkids in the water, playing and having a great time!
One of the walls of the pool had a wall that was about 10' tall and 50' wide. There was a 1" ledge that ran the length of the pool about 5 inches above the water, and the whole wall was actually a waterfall too (see photo below).
My granddaughter Baleigh and I had a little discussion of whether she could traverse it from one end to another without falling. We decided to give it a try so we both jumped in the water.
We got her up on the toe hold and she went about 4-5' the first time. I was standing behind her in the water to stop her fall and to talk her through what to do.
It was very awkward at first. Her toes barely had a perch, and she had to find places for her hands to grasp wildly angled rocks.
You've probably seen shows or videos of people who are climbing cliffs in precarious and dangerous ways. This looked like that except the fall was only about 6 inches into 5 feet of water. 😉
Anyway, I heard her saying things like, "I can't do it!" or "This is scary!" I stood behind her, speaking softly and giving her words of encouragement and confidence. In short, I was telling her how to think it through and stay calm.
She'd fall in, we'd put her back up. She’d fall in again, and she'd go right back up! Over and over we did this.
And something strange happened. She went from 4-5' to 10', and then to 20' without falling. After about 15 minutes she went the full length of the pool WITHOUT falling!!! 👏🏻
When she got on solid ground, she was ecstatic at her accomplishment! Her confidence was bubbling over. And then she did it four more times! It got easier and easier.
Afterwards, as we were standing in the pool I asked her what she had learned through this experience.
She told me that when she heard my calming voice, encouragement, and a little instruction on what to do, she gained confidence. And it became something that was a fun challenge and was no longer scary.
She also told me that she realized that if she puts her mind to it, she can do things that are way out of her comfort zone. I told her that this applied to all parts of her life.
Quite frankly, this is what I get to do on a daily basis with my coaching clients! I usually have 5-7 sessions a day helping people get to places they've never been before and I help provide the strategy and encouragement they need to take that first step.
Sometimes we just need a calm voice and a little direction behind us in order to go to places we'd never think we could get to. Who provides that for you?
Something I Learned:
There's a podcast I like to listen to called Mama Bear Apologetics. Of course I'm a Papa Bear, but wisdom is wisdom if you know what I mean.
In a recent episode, they talked about a concept called, “The No Flinch Rule.” Here's how it goes (and I'm paraphrasing here)
Whenever your child brings anything up to you that might upset or scare you, don't freak out. Listen thoughtfully, ask good questions to see where your kid is hearing this from, because this will give you insight and also let you know who's influencing your child. And then graciously engage both sides of the argument and always back up what you say with evidence. They don't need someone's opinion, they need sources.
I love this advice. If you freak out and get upset when your child brings you something that you don't agree with, you'll teach them NOT to come talk to you. They will start hiding things from you and go to their friends for advice. So take a deep breath, say a little prayer, and talk about whatever it is they are trying to process.
Something to Ponder:
I heard this years ago and memorized it to keep myself on track. Definitely makes you think!
"Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people."
Eleanor Roosevelt
Something I Saw:
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Until next week!
Robert