Minute With Mallon: A Simpler, Fuller Life
Something I Taught:
A few weeks ago, I was working with a client who was stressed by the amount of possessions he and his family had accumulated over the years. We were thinking through what he could do in order to minimize the frustration of having to take care of so much. Much of what they had accumulated now felt like a burden that they had to carry. Treasures had turned into clutter.
It made me think back to an experience my wife and I had.
Back in 2009, Sandy mentioned that she was considering working as a travel nurse and asked what I thought of the idea. Because of the continuing shortage of nurses, there's a whole industry out there that deals with nurses traveling to different locations around the country to fill vacancies. The hospital pays for everything except the internet and food, and they put you up in nice, fully furnished corporate apartments. I was doing a lot of traveling for speaking and coaching back then, so it didn't matter where I lived. We decided to give it a go.
Her first assignment was at Stanford Medical Hospital, and we would be living in Mountain View, CA, right down the street from Google and Facebook.
We filled up both of our cars, put our home on the market, filled up three large storage units and took off. All we took with us was what was in the cars.
The apartment we had was small; one bedroom, one bathroom, a living room, and a patio outside. There were olive trees right outside and beautiful landscaping. Each morning, we'd wake up to fog and 60-degree weather. Then it seemed like at 9:45 each morning, the fog would clear, and for the rest of the day it would be a spectacular 71 degrees and not a cloud in the sky.
In short: paradise!
Each Saturday morning, Sandy and I would get up, take about 15 minutes cleaning our whole apartment and then head out the door. We traveled all over California – Yosemite, Napa, Sonoma, San Francisco (used to be nice!), the Pacific Coast Highway, Monterrey, Pebble Beach, San Jose, etc.
After a few months, we realized that we missed – NOTHING! All the stuff that we had packed away didn't matter in the least. We were perfectly content with the small number of possessions we'd brought with us and just enjoying each other and our adventures.
And we came up with this little mantra:
Less Is More!
We realized that much of what we had accumulated and "had to have" really meant nothing to us. In fact, it had been weighing us down. We were discovering that having to deal with fewer "things" brought us more freedom to enjoy our lives.
The lesson here is that while possessions might provide temporary pleasure or convenience, their value diminishes over time. Think about something you HAD TO HAVE that is now in the back of the closet, in the storage shed, or up in the attic. It will be something different for each of us, but we all have these things.
Through this experience of living with less, Sandy and I found that that true fulfillment comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth. These, not our possessions, are what foster a lasting sense of happiness and contentment.
This lesson encourages us to focus on what truly matters in life, such as building connections, pursuing our passions, and contributing positively to the lives of others, rather than seeking happiness solely through accumulation of material things.
Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures!
So please consider these questions: When did you find richness in simplicity? And how can you prioritize building meaningful relationships and pursuing personal growth over the pursuit of material possessions in your own life?
Something I Learned:
In her book Grit, Angela Duckworth talks about the research of cognitive psychologist Anders Ericsson. "Ericsson has spent his career studying how experts acquire world-class skills. He’s studied Olympic athletes, chess grandmasters, renowned concert pianists, prima ballerinas, PGA golfers, Scrabble champions, and expert radiologists."
One thing he found was that experts practice differently. Unlike most of us, experts are logging thousands upon thousands of hours of what Ericsson calls deliberate practice. Here's an excerpt:
This is how experts practice:
“First, they set a stretch goal, zeroing in on just one narrow aspect of their overall performance. Rather than focus on what they already do well, experts strive to improve specific weaknesses. They intentionally seek out challenges they can’t yet meet. Olympic gold medal swimmer Rowdy Gaines, for example, said, “At every practice, I would try to beat myself. If my coach gave me ten 100s one day and asked me to hold 1:15, then the next day when he gave me ten 100s, I’d try to hold 1:14.” Virtuoso violist Roberto Díaz describes “working to find your Achilles’ heel—the specific aspect of the music that needs problem solving.”
Then, with undivided attention and great effort, experts strive to reach their stretch goal. Interestingly, many choose to do so while nobody’s watching. Basketball great Kevin Durant has said, “I probably spend 70 percent of my time by myself, working on my game, just trying to fine-tune every single piece of my game.” Likewise, the amount of time musicians devote to practicing alone is a much better predictor of how quickly they develop than time spent practicing with other musicians.”
In a nutshell: you won't progress well if you are vague on the steps it takes to accomplish your goal. You want to be very specific about exactly which small part of your performance you want to improve. Then, set measurable goals to make accomplishments in these small, specific areas, and then work on that small goal over and over again.
This will bring about much quicker improvement and keep you motivated as you progress.
Something to Ponder:
"The more you have, the more you are occupied. The less you have, the more free you are."
- Mother Teresa
Something I Saw:
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Until next week!
Robert
